brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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