just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
