Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
