Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
