I feel like I'm in dance class right now
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
