Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
