Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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