why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
