Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.

Fav 14 3881 976
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(970): View more from Colorado

i take joy in having bigger boobs than others

Fav 93 6730 1017
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(561): View more from Florida

Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.

Fav 12 6068 887
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(702): View more from Nevada

So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.

Fav 47 9131 1129
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(337): View more from Louisiana

The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party

Fav 17 5315 2022
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(503): View more from Oregon

There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.

Fav 8 4693 1351
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(216): View more from Ohio

So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail

Fav 9 1535 3329
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(706): View more from Georgia

All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.

Fav 2 1188 517
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with

Fav 0 24 93
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