I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
