I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
