You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
