So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
