I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
