fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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