I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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