3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Please, let me fuck your mom
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
