dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
