i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
