Already got asked if we're dating
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
