she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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