I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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