who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
