good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Randomize
