dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize