dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
