Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
