there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
