Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
