Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
