She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
is that a dick in a sweater?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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