Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
