You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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