Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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