Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
