Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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