Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
