I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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