Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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