I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
