first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
