Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
