I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
