all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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