Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
