no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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