lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
