help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
