I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
