My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
