it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
