we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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