Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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