Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Everyone says I win the strip club
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
