what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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